Let me just tell you about Karen, this little snarky WOD I met today. She is sick and twisted. She’s mean, she’ll burn out your quads, she’ll fake you out with her simplicity and she’ll beat you down and smack you in the face if you aren’t careful (literally took a 12 pound medicine ball right in the kisser). This is not my box, but it’s fun to watch other Xfitter’s suffer.

So my experience with Karen today was rough, really rough. My coach capped Karen at 10  minutes, RX was 16 lb medicine ball at 10ft…(RX=prescribed workout weight or modification) butt had to pass below the knees on the squat every time or it was a no rep. I hit 107 wall balls at 10 minutes. Karen is 150. So. I didn’t finish, and I had a bunch of no reps, where the ball did not hit the mark. It was a brutal, brutal benchmark…and I am happy that I tried.

This week has been challenging physically, work has been a little more stressful than usual and my back has been really, really bothering me. It’s stiff and achey and annoying. Normally I just push through, but I am terrified of getting an injury and I am terrified that if I go to the box when I am hurting that I will feel compelled to do the WOD even if rest is actually what my body needs. However, missing 3 WOD’s this week has been tough. I don’t want to miss the box, I feel left out if I am not there, I am missing good technique lessons, I am missing my friends reach new PR’s, I have way less laundry to do on my day off. It’s just not worth it for me. If I had it my way I would spend 8-12 hours a day at my Crossfit box, working out, learning, cheering people on….it’s my happy place. Beyond that, it’s the place where I feel the most myself. I am proud of how far I have come in the 4 years I have been working out, but in the last 8 weeks, since starting Crossfit, my fitness makes perfect sense to me. I want my body to do more, I want to eat (most days…) to fuel my next workout, I really want to be an athlete and more importantly I want to LOOK like an athlete.

So this week I have focused on a mentality of patience. I need to be patient with my body, while steeling my mind. I need to focus on EXCELLENT form for each rep of every exercise and I need to be patient with myself. I am not a gymnast (yet), I have spent years conditioning my body to lift heavy and not expect any damn stretching, I have avoided over exertion, box jumps, wall balls and anything remotely close to Crossfit. I only recently started working on my endurance, with some success, but now that I have found a sport that I love, I want to be awesome at every aspect. In my mind – I AM awesome. I look beautiful, every lift is stellar, books are being written about my excellence, Rich Froning  is tweeting about me #WOW! Taking tips from KO #smilethroughthepain….and then I fail at Karen, and I realize I have a long way to go and I am willing to spend the rest of my life becoming the best athelete I can be. That’s really what Crossfit is to me, it’s about becoming the best version of myself, it’s not about beating the guy next to me (unless it’s Orin, it which case it’s always my goal to beat him) it’s about being my best, it’s about beating my  last time, improving my PR’s, and having perfect form. It’s about breathing correctly and not hyperventilating because I am so psyched about the next rep, it’s about being patient and giving each WOD the attention and focus it deserves…that I deserve.

Working this out in Crossfit is carrying over into every aspect of my life, it really is making me a better person, and finding something I am so passionate about, finding my inner athlete is motivating me to be better at everything. I want to be a writer, I want to be more faithful to God, I want to give my friendships the attention they deserve and I want to go to bed every night knowing that what I did today is going to take me to the next right place tomorrow. I want to stop worrying about the next rep, the next big decision and I want to focus on the moment at hand and make it beautiful and perfect and even disgustingly sweaty (ahem…Karen)…so that even if I don’t finish (which I won’t, none of us really will with that pesky death thing looming over our heads) I will try  and I will try hard. There is a verse that comes to mind, it’s something I think about a lot….

It’s from Matthew 6, and it reminds me to keep my priorities in order, that by doing so I will receive that which God has planned for me, it’s hard for me someday’s to remember that I am not all alone, and that may be why I love my Crossfit box so very much: I am never alone there, we are all pushing each other to be OUR best…and this is what God wants from us too. To be the best version of ourselves for him and to each other, becoming an athlete isn’t necessarily about looking better in a short skirt, it’s about becoming the best person I can be, and for the first time in many years, the best me is coming out all the time now.

Matthew 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Well said Jesus. Well said.

Also, you should watch this if you never have. It’s hilarious.


Oh and also, I do want to look awesome in a short skirt.

Next time we meet Karen, there will be 150 wallballs at the Rx weight….just you wait.